"people are searching and yearning for ways to mourn. It's important to grieve not only independently but also communally." Alan Wolfelt, grief counselor
A grief support group is for those who have suffered a loss. It is a sharing of feelings. The support of others has proven to be therapeutic.
If you would like to begin a support group, in your area or online, contact me for more information.
A grief counselor is one who is very knowledgeable in the area of "normal grief." This practitioner is well-versed in the normal grief reaction and process that occurs to many types of losses, suc
Harriet Hodgson is the author of 27 books and hundreds of Internet and print articles. She is a bereaved parent and GRG – grandparent raising grandchildren. Her recent writing focuses on grief markers – 1-year, 18-month, and 2-year anniversaries of loss. These markers, and many others, trigger fresh grief, and harriet will give us suggestions [...]
Guest: Bonnie Carroll - Bonnie Carroll Director of (TAPS), the national Veterans Service Organization providing resources to those affected by the death of a loved one serving in the armed forces. Ms. Carroll founded TAPS following the death of her husband, Brigadier General Tom Carroll, in an Army C-12 plane crash in 1992.
By Gloria Lintermans -
While grieving we go through many firsts as important dates come up on the calendar. Whether it’s the first anniversary, birthday or holiday, it’s good to have coping strategies in place to rely on to help us cope.
The holidays can be a particularly difficult time. While we are used to being with [...]
From Carol –
This message may help Evie. We lost our daughter in July of 2008. She developed an infection and sepsis and was dead in less than 24 hours. We had no chance to say goodbye. I have a terrible time even now with the feelingsof guilt that I wasn’t with her when she [...]
Oprah and People Magazine will Salute Heroes Across America on Tuesday Nov. 24, 2009-check your local tv listing. One of our Open To Hope Writers, Bonnie Carroll is being featured. Bonnie is a Lifeline for Grieving Families. After her husband, Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll died in a plane crash in 1992, Bonnie was shocked by [...]
I received an email this week telling me about the blog rally being held by several health care bloggers to get the word out about starting the difficult questions on End of Life Care.
Their project Engage with Grace: The One Slide Project was launched in 2008 with the hope of getting people talking about end of life care. They created a single slide with 5 questions "designed to help get us talking with each other, with our loved ones, about our preferences."
Furthermore they are asking people to share this One Slide — wherever and whenever they can in blogs, in presentations and in conversations.
Thanksgiving Blog Rally For Thanksgiving they are hosting a Blog rally, asking bloggers to post information about the Engage with Grace project starting Tuesday November 24 and leaving it up through the Thanksgiving weekend.
For examples of what other bloggers are doing this year the the blog rally see:
The Messenger was written many years ago to provide a bit of solace and soothing words for a family friend and patient, both of whom had recently lost their spouses.
I decided to share the healing poem, The Messenger since it has been used as a remembrance poem by so many people in newpapers, brochures, online and at funeral services.
The Messenger
From an Angel on high a tender message of love was softly whispered into the ear of this humble scribe....
Weep not for me now that I have passed. Remember the laughter, the affection and the joy not just the recent tears. Cherish the memories, our hopes and dreams. Hold fast to the love that we shared. Be happy with the time we spent together and being anew. For I am not really gone, I am closer than ever before.
As the morning sun rises and throughout the busy day...I am with you. Until the setting sun disappears on the horizon and we watch the day turn into night...I am here. You may feel a faint breeze stir round your head, while you slumber as I gently kiss your forehead, "Good night." The stars that shine so brightly in my heavenly sky help me watch over you and keep you from harm.
I am the wind in the trees and the song of a bird. I am moonbeams in a midnight sky and a glorious rainbow after the storm. I am morning dew and freshly-fallen snow. I am a butterfly flying overhead and a puppy happily at play. I am a smile on a stranger's face a gentle touch a warm embrace.
Listen to the wind for my message of love. Watch the sun rise and set in the sky with me. Feel my essence encircle you with warm memories. Open your heart to know...I am not gone. Reach deep into your soul...You will find me. I am here. Have no fear. I am with you, Always.
More about Journey of Hearts Poetry I am always a bit surprised when I go searching for some of the healing poems that I wrote and included in the early days of the Journey of Hearts site.
My poems (The Messenger and In Memory of You) show up on many spontaneous bereavement sites from those whose deaths were not major news events to those whose deaths were major news events like 9-11, Laci Patterson and Michael Jackson. Unfortunately the poems are often unattributed to "Anonymous" and do not include a reference to the Journey of Hearts website.
The poem seems to have sprouted wings and flies around the Internet spreading healing words. By reposting a newer version of The Messenger online, I am hopeful that people will find the version of The Messenger and correctly link to the blog or the Journey of Hearts site.
In September 2009 The Spirit of Water added several news products to their product line that I have already supported in this blog and in the NICU Parent Support Blog.
The new product that I am really excited about is their Water Blessing Labels Bookmarks, particularly the one for focused healing.
Blessing for Weight Loss, Focused Healing and for Awakening
There are three news Water Blessing Label Bookmarks, one for Weight Loss, one for Focused Healing and another for Awakening.
The 6 phrases on blessing labels for Weight Loss are: "fresh start,""mindful eating,""breakthrough,""vibrant health,""ageless beauty," and"boundless energy."
The 6 words on blessing labels for the Focused healing are:"acceptance,""serenity,""courage," "patience," "humor," and"energy."
The6 words on blessing labelswords for Awakening are:"love,""gratitude,""peace," and"joy."
The Focused Healing labels contain the 6 static-cling blessing labels, bookmark and inspirational mini cards. The words on the bookmark carry a healing message as well:
You are guided from within as your healing journey brings you back to yourself.
The bookmark can be used to inspire you in your healing process. Place it in a book as a reminder of your healing journey.
More affordable These bookmarks are a smaller number of blessing labels than the regular size, so half the price $4.95 compared to $9.95 for the larger size.
Online Grief Support uses the blog feature for Journal Therapy – You can choose to make it private or public. Blog posts are a great way to express yourself on your profile page. To get started, go to your profile page and locate the "Blog Posts" module in the middle column. Click the "Add a Blog Post" link. You must join the community to take advantage of Journal Therapy – It’s free.
You can add text, links, images, and files to your blog post using the blog editor toolbar. You can also select the privacy of your blog post to allow anyone in the community to view it, just your friends in the community, or just you. Go to Settings and then click on Privacy. If you need help, I'm just an email away. - Diana
i lost my life partner on june 1st from a horrific auto accident right outside my driveway…not only did i hear it happen, but i wasalso the first on the scene with his brother…i am a nursing student and my first aid did kick in but when i reached down to find a pulse i could not find one and by the position of his body and all his extremities i knew it was bad…he was life-flighted to the hospital after 45 minutes and the doctors worked on him all night which gave me false hope there was a chance… Continue
Our pastor talked yesterday about weathering storms and how God creates these storms just for us. Only we can get through them. Other people who have been through similiar curcumstances can help, but we have to figure out with the help of God, how to stay afloat. The problem is people don't want to see my grief. They want me to say that I am doing ok. Well, I'm not! I'm angry and sad and don't understand why my Dad died so suddenly. I dread the holidays and just want to go to bed and pull the co… Continue
School is hard. I can't get my grades up. I'm losing intrest in trying anymore. I feel that I wont graduate or get my dream job. It's so stressful I feel that theres no point trying. I have nothing to look forward to in life if I never graduate. I feel like commiting suicide so I don't have to put up with it anymore.
School is hard. I can't get my grades up. I'm losing intrest in trying anymore. I feel that I wont graduate or get my dream job. It's so stressful I feel that theres no point trying. I have nothing to look forward to in life if I never graduate. I feel like commiting suicide so I don't have to put up with it anymore.
Posted by ann speck on November 17, 2009 at 11:37pm
i miss my mother. i am having flash back when the police and family told me that ahe'd had died. it seemed that i couldnt get home quick enough when i found out . i am fixing to be back on anti depressants but i just need to write out . when i get married i cried because she wasnt there, the happiest moments and sad moments she's not here. i keep having what if's going through my head all the time. she had heart disease an didnt wanted my dad to know bout it. . i miss her a great dill. everythin… Continue
Its still hard for me to sleep at night. My doctor gave me "something" to help me sleep, but I don't feel I need to take it often. I spend most nights (that I'm off) awake in front of the tv. I hate that I don't feel motivated to do things around the house. Sometimes I want to move to another house but then I think about all that I would be leaving behind, the memories of her. I often turn off all emotions and just work on auto pilot. I hate that my husband isn't here, especially when I lay here… Continue
Dear Aly,
I thought about you today baby. i thought about you alot. i watched the notre dame game. they were your favorite team in all of football. So i went to your myspace page to read the comments that people wrote and i saw that Kyle and his girlfriend had a baby boy! he is soooo cute! you are an aunt! Tucker is soooo lucky to have an aunt like you watching over him.
i even cried a little bit today cause you will never be able to meet Tucker and he will never be able to meet you. but i am s… Continue
Posted by Jen Miller on November 7, 2009 at 11:56pm
I was 16 when I lost the first person of great personal relevance to me - alright, it was Kurt Cobain and I was under the influence of great angst and the grunge movement - true, I had experienced the loss of my grandparents prior to Kurt's suicide, but those deaths were easier to reconcile with the natural course of life and the truth of mortality. Kurt's death was different, it was very personal to me and, combined with natural 16 year old self-involvement, directed me into a major period of i… Continue
Posted by jenn murphy on November 5, 2009 at 3:29pm
It keeps occurring to me, in a beat me over the head and smack me in the face kind of way, the total disparity between the almost instantaneous way in which I verbally began to refer to my mother in the past tense while on the other hand my mind, my imagination, my thoughts continue to function as though my mother was still present in my day-to-day life. Of course I'm struck by this often because my mother is pretty much all I think about these days.
So, what is the deal? Is it two separate par… Continue
Posted by jenn murphy on November 5, 2009 at 3:28pm
The holidays can be a stressful time for many people. Those that have recently lost a loved one, or are marking the anniversary of the death of a loved one, may find the holiday season especially difficult. The best way to cope with holiday grief is to mentally prepare oneself for it. There is nothing you can do to prevent holiday grief from happening, and you shouldn’t aim for that. Grief is a natural and healthy part of life. But there is some advice you can heed in order to quell overwhelming… Continue
i lost my life partner on june 1st from a horrific auto accident right outside my driveway…not only did i hear it happen, but i wasalso the first on the scene with his brother…i am a nursing student and my first aid did kick in but when i reached ...
Dear Daisy,
I'm sorry you had such a rough birthday. It seems like any kind of holiday or day that use to be for celebrating is now just a reminder to me that someone is missing, my dad. It has been 5 months since I lost my dad and I keep waiting ...
We lost our wonderful daughter while we were all whitewater rafting. We couldn't save her. One moment she was waving she was okay and the next she went under and didn't come back up. Her foot got stuck in some rocks. That was 9 years ago. The path...
All of you are right. When the holidays come I too want them just to go away. One thing I can share with experience is that as time goes by the pain willl soften a bit. Oh you still will hate the holidays, how can we not, our loved ones aren't her...
Our daughter died in front of us. She drown. It's not something you just get over with. It will take a lot of time. Have you thought about getting some outside help? Someone who deals with Trauma? That might help. Don't let anyone tell you what is...
Cindy, you have expressed in words what I have been thinking about all morning! While I am sure your pastor meant well this is way beyond any storm I have known. I feel like I have fallen into an abyss and clawing my way out! Each time I make any ...
Our pastor talked yesterday about weathering storms and how God creates these storms just for us. Only we can get through them. Other people who have been through similiar curcumstances can help, but we have to figure out with the help of God, how...
Can Thanksgiving be only days away? I have so much to be thankful for but I find myself saddened that our daughter won't be here again this year to share it with us. Holidays are the hardest for all of us. Everyone walks around all joyous when all...
Can Thanksgiving be only days away? I have so much to be thankful for but I find myself saddened that our daughter won't be here again this year to share it with us. Holidays are the hardest for all of us. Everyone walks around all joyous when all...
yesterday
Ned Noestra is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
You obviously had feelings for him. The amount of time does not matter. You can't just "get over it."
If you did you would be an uncaring person.
My father died also suddenly this last July . Went to sleep and never woke up. He was not sick.
I k...
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
In The Glass Table by Leigh K. Cunningham, fourteen year-old Jack Irwin-Hunter hikes to Lake Como after running away from home. Since his younger brother was killed in a tragic accident, Jack has suffered alone while his parents mourned their loss. He believes his parents no longer care about him—his mother is always crying and clutching a photo of Colby, and his father wanders their garden aimlessly. When Jack is cast into a spell to...
Did you know about our ebook of over 250 funeral poems and readings? Don't lose valuable time searching for the perfect poem or reading - we've already done all the hard work, to save you the trouble. And you can download it instantly. It's one of the most comprehensive and thoughtful collection of sympathy poems, quotes and readings available today. Whoever you have lost, this carefully crafted collection of poems and readings will help you...
It’s a unique feeling, when it finally dawns on you that someone who has been a part of your life for such a long time is no longer there. It’s a sickening realisation that stops you in your tracks. In your mind you can visualise the person, smiling, talking, living, but when the vision fades you realise that this is now your only connection to them. Through memories, photographs, anecdotes and, on a higher plane,...
This is one of the kindest things you may ever see.. It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service. Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so...
Just heard from this very worthwhile foundation and thought it would be helpful to spread the news: "We have a foundation that helps provide low-income families who have a lost a baby with funding for a permanent memorial stone for the gravesite. We have been around since 2003 and have helped 6 families just this year alone in getting headstones for their angel babies. (See www.dempseyburdick.com) We would love it if you would pass on...