"people are searching and yearning for ways to mourn. It's important to grieve not only independently but also communally." Alan Wolfelt, grief counselor
A grief support group is for those who have suffered a loss. It is a sharing of feelings. The support of others has proven to be therapeutic.
If you would like to begin a support group, in your area or online, contact me for more information.
A grief counselor is one who is very knowledgeable in the area of "normal grief." This practitioner is well-versed in the normal grief reaction and process that occurs to many types of losses, suc
By Ms. J .Lee Reed –
You might recall a holiday
with a memory quick and faint
but it’s the little things that seem to stay
the simple, common, quaint
They seem to sit so quietly
in the scrapbook of your mind
( your hair was wet with April rain)
( his subtle smile was genuine)
So easily carried throughout your life
tucked into [...]
Hi -
well it’s been almost a year since i walked in the door of our home – to find my dear sweet wife Valerie dead. She had had a seizure taking an afternoon nap and never woke up. She had turned 37 years old just three days earlier. In an unanticipated moment my whole world [...]
From Jean –
Laurel
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine having to go through what you did.
I should have been with my husband that day, but I had woke up with a migraine.
My husband went to get hay without me. I know that whether I was there it would not have [...]
From Brenda –
I jUST FOUND YOUR SITE IT IS CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT,ALL I HAVE DONE FOR 2 WEEKS IS CRY DAY AND NIGHT. I LOST MY HUSBAND,SOULMATE AND FRIEND ON OCT.17,2009 DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY AND TWO DAYS BEFORE
OUR ANIVERSARY 10 BEAUTIFUL YEARS.
HE WAS SLEEPING ALOT ALL OF A SUDDEN SO I TOOK HIM [...]
From Im -
My husband passed away suddenly on Halloween. He lived in California, i live in Canada. I had the last text messages from him and last night i sent him a text telling him i loved and missed him and i wish he would call or text me back….
Tags: death of a husband, Death [...]
In September 2009 The Spirit of Water added several news products to their product line that I have already supported in this blog and in the NICU Parent Support Blog.
The new product that I am really excited about is their Water Blessing Labels Bookmarks, particularly the one for focused healing.
Blessing for Weight Loss, Focused Healing and for Awakening
There are three news Water Blessing Label Bookmarks, one for Weight Loss, one for Focused Healing and another for Awakening.
The 6 phrases on blessing labels for Weight Loss are: "fresh start,""mindful eating,""breakthrough,""vibrant health,""ageless beauty," and"boundless energy."
The 6 words on blessing labels for the Focused healing are:"acceptance,""serenity,""courage," "patience," "humor," and"energy."
The6 words on blessing labelswords for Awakening are:"love,""gratitude,""peace," and"joy."
The Focused Healing labels contain the 6 static-cling blessing labels, bookmark and inspirational mini cards. The words on the bookmark carry a healing message as well:
You are guided from within as your healing journey brings you back to yourself.
The bookmark can be used to inspire you in your healing process. Place it in a book as a reminder of your healing journey.
More affordable These bookmarks are a smaller number of blessing labels than the regular size, so half the price $4.95 compared to $9.95 for the larger size.
This year marks the 8th Anniversary of September 11, 2001. For some losses, such as this type of tragic loss, the grief remains. A quote from Senator Ted Kennedy written to a widow of 9/11, that was heard at his recent funeral, captures the nature of coping with tragic loss:
As you know so well, the passage of time never really heals the tragic memory of such a great loss, but we carry on, because we have to, because our loved one would want us to, and because there is still light to guide us in the world from the love they gave us.
Now 8 years later, we stop to remember those who died, in different ways around the country. This video clip from WPRI.com News shows some of the many ways that September 11th is being remembered in the United States and around the world.
From WPRI.com" With familiar rituals of grief and a new purpose to honor those who rushed into danger to help, the nation marked eight years since the Sept. 11 terror attacks Friday, with volunteers reading the names of the World Trade Center lost.
- Remembering 9/11 -
Ways of Remembering If you can't make it to New York to celebrate, there are other ways that you can remember and honor the memory of those lost online:
Wear Red on 9-11 - A grass roots effort to encouraging people to wear read on September 11 to show your support to those who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks of 2001. People on Twitter and Facebook can also participate in special ways.
911 Day of Service- My Good Deed has been working since 2002 to get September 11 established as a National Day of Service, to honor the victims and those who rose to service in response to the attacks on America. This is the first official year of celebrating 911 as a day of service.
When I heard that Senator Kennedy had died, one of my first thoughts was that he had been able to die on his terms. He announced in May 2008 that he had a malignant brain tumor. When he died on August 26th this year, he had lived over a year with his cancer diagnosis.
Ironically, Senator Kennedy outlived three brothers, four sisters and three nephews. His tribute to nephew John Kennedy Jr after his fatal plane crash was such a moving reflection on time and the years one is given to live.
His time, which was not doubled, but cut in half, will live forever in our memory... But like his father, he had every gift but length of years.
A Gift of Time He was given the time to say good by to family, friends and colleagues. He was given time to be honored for a lifetime of public service, receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor. He was given the time to even plan and orchestrate his memorial and funeral services. President Obama also spoke of this gift of time in his eulogy for Senator Kennedy:
He was given the gift of time that his brothers were not, and he used that gift to touch as many lives and right as many wrongs as the years would allow.
The Final Year In her interview with Maria Shriver spoke about her uncle's final year as a beautiful blessing. He lived to experience the love and the gratitude of his family and his colleagues, something that his brothers had not done.
The Gift of Time given to Senator Kennedy allowed him to experience death on his own terms, to say good bye, to receive love from others and to have a say in how his final days would be spent.
This is the type of desired outcome that most practitioners of end-of-life care wish for their patients, the chance to experience the Gift of Time.
Update September 11, 2009 CNN.com reported today that Senator Kennedy began planning his funeral in 2007, long before his brain tumor. According to the article, Senator Kennedy had informed fellow members of the Massachusetts congressional delegation in 2007 that he had been working on his memorial plans and reflecting on his legacy, most notably that of Health Care.
In addition, as I'd suspected, an unnamed source in the article told CNN that the senator had focused on specific arrangements of his funeral and memorial service in the months leading up to his death.
Online Grief Support uses the blog feature for Journal Therapy – You can choose to make it private or public. Blog posts are a great way to express yourself on your profile page. To get started, go to your profile page and locate the "Blog Posts" module in the middle column. Click the "Add a Blog Post" link. You must join the community to take advantage of Journal Therapy – It’s free.
You can add text, links, images, and files to your blog post using the blog editor toolbar. You can also select the privacy of your blog post to allow anyone in the community to view it, just your friends in the community, or just you. Go to Settings and then click on Privacy. If you need help, I'm just an email away. - Diana
Its still hard for me to sleep at night. My doctor gave me "something" to help me sleep, but I don't feel I need to take it often. I spend most nights (that I'm off) awake in front of the tv. I hate that I don't feel motivated to do things around the house. Sometimes I want to move to another house but then I think about all that I would be leaving behind, the memories of her. I often turn off all emotions and just work on auto pilot. I hate that my husband isn't here, especially when I lay here… Continue
Dear Aly,
I thought about you today baby. i thought about you alot. i watched the notre dame game. they were your favorite team in all of football. So i went to your myspace page to read the comments that people wrote and i saw that Kyle and his girlfriend had a baby boy! he is soooo cute! you are an aunt! Tucker is soooo lucky to have an aunt like you watching over him.
i even cried a little bit today cause you will never be able to meet Tucker and he will never be able to meet you. but i am s… Continue
Posted by Jen Miller on November 7, 2009 at 11:56pm
I was 16 when I lost the first person of great personal relevance to me - alright, it was Kurt Cobain and I was under the influence of great angst and the grunge movement - true, I had experienced the loss of my grandparents prior to Kurt's suicide, but those deaths were easier to reconcile with the natural course of life and the truth of mortality. Kurt's death was different, it was very personal to me and, combined with natural 16 year old self-involvement, directed me into a major period of i… Continue
Posted by jenn murphy on November 5, 2009 at 3:29pm
It keeps occurring to me, in a beat me over the head and smack me in the face kind of way, the total disparity between the almost instantaneous way in which I verbally began to refer to my mother in the past tense while on the other hand my mind, my imagination, my thoughts continue to function as though my mother was still present in my day-to-day life. Of course I'm struck by this often because my mother is pretty much all I think about these days.
So, what is the deal? Is it two separate par… Continue
Posted by jenn murphy on November 5, 2009 at 3:28pm
The holidays can be a stressful time for many people. Those that have recently lost a loved one, or are marking the anniversary of the death of a loved one, may find the holiday season especially difficult. The best way to cope with holiday grief is to mentally prepare oneself for it. There is nothing you can do to prevent holiday grief from happening, and you shouldn’t aim for that. Grief is a natural and healthy part of life. But there is some advice you can heed in order to quell overwhelming… Continue
During the United States’ grim economic times, families have had to pinch pennies in many areas of their lives, especially when it comes to remembering a loved one that has passed. Funerals, like many other highlights in a person’s life, can cost families thousands of dollars. In reality, one does not need to spend a lot of money to memorialize and remember a loved one who is no longer with us. There are many options families can choose from to memorialize one who has passed that require little… Continue
Grief comes in many shades and colors. On average, each of the 2.5 million deaths every year in the United States directly affects four people, each of whom has a unique way of dealing with bereavement based on gender, culture, personality, and age.
Age makes a tremendous difference in how grief affects us. A teenager will deal with death much differently than a 70-year-old will. Understanding how grief manifests in people differently at… Continue
I recently (2 months or so ago) went through a breakup of a relationship of almost 2 years, and I am really having a hard time dealing with some of it.
I know it's not as final as a death, but I am still grieving, and I feel like total crap.
I don't have a lot of time to go and see traditional counselors, and sometimes I even feel like they have NO CLUE about what's going on with me because they are educated and trained to give advice, but it makes me wonder if they have EVER gone through what… Continue
well i am happy to tell everyone that i think i am doing better. i am happy to tell myself that.
my grandma doesnt have stomach cancer. and there is a possibility that she has another type of cancer but the chance is not as great as before. so it could be something else.
And for the first time in 3 months, i am able to talk about Aly without crying or breaking down. i am trying to move on with my life, and i am still stuck here thinking about that dreadful day, but i am working my way through… Continue
Posted by Jen Miller on October 29, 2009 at 11:03pm
My dad died this summer. I just started my junior year of college and I get so angry whenever I see people getting upset about petty things. I just want my dad back and they have no idea what that's like. I dream about him all the time, and honest...
Its still hard for me to sleep at night. My doctor gave me "something" to help me sleep, but I don't feel I need to take it often. I spend most nights (that I'm off) awake in front of the tv. I hate that I don't feel motivated to do things around ...
Dear Aly,
I thought about you today baby. i thought about you alot. i watched the notre dame game. they were your favorite team in all of football. So i went to your myspace page to read the comments that people wrote and i saw that Kyle and his g...
yesterday
Caitlyn Woollard II attended a death, grief and mourning seminar by Alan Wolfelt ... my Papa (dad) died March 7, 2009
It will almost be three years now that I've been living without my mother. The anniversary of her death is on the 10th of December....
I don't come on here much because I don't like talking about it. I joined because I knew I needed the help thoug...
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
In The Glass Table by Leigh K. Cunningham, fourteen year-old Jack Irwin-Hunter hikes to Lake Como after running away from home. Since his younger brother was killed in a tragic accident, Jack has suffered alone while his parents mourned their loss. He believes his parents no longer care about him—his mother is always crying and clutching a photo of Colby, and his father wanders their garden aimlessly. When Jack is cast into a spell to...
Did you know about our ebook of over 250 funeral poems and readings? Don't lose valuable time searching for the perfect poem or reading - we've already done all the hard work, to save you the trouble. And you can download it instantly. It's one of the most comprehensive and thoughtful collection of sympathy poems, quotes and readings available today. Whoever you have lost, this carefully crafted collection of poems and readings will help you...
It’s a unique feeling, when it finally dawns on you that someone who has been a part of your life for such a long time is no longer there. It’s a sickening realisation that stops you in your tracks. In your mind you can visualise the person, smiling, talking, living, but when the vision fades you realise that this is now your only connection to them. Through memories, photographs, anecdotes and, on a higher plane,...
This is one of the kindest things you may ever see.. It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service. Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so...
Just heard from this very worthwhile foundation and thought it would be helpful to spread the news: "We have a foundation that helps provide low-income families who have a lost a baby with funding for a permanent memorial stone for the gravesite. We have been around since 2003 and have helped 6 families just this year alone in getting headstones for their angel babies. (See www.dempseyburdick.com) We would love it if you would pass on...