Traumatic, Sudden Loss

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Comment by janey sumner 1 day ago

i just lost my grandma who i have lived with for the last year and was really close and i am really missing her its really hard right now because of the holidays coming up

Comment by Theresa Wheeler on November 5, 2009 at 9:15am

Julie:
I know the feeling. I have been in a fog since my husband died. I do the things I need to do but there is no joy in my life right now. I do everything I can to get out of bed in the morning and take care of my son. Thanks for sharing

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on November 4, 2009 at 8:43pm

It has been awhile since I have been able to write as I am in the middle of my externship for the Ma program. Your stories have all touched me very much and we all have lost someone we really love in a very sudden and dramatic way!!

Does anybody have trouble getting back to life? I have NO desire to do anything and I have worked real hard to get where I am at in my career and I have little desire and everything I take to get going in the morning. I just do not feel like doing anything.

Comment by Brenda Paradis on October 23, 2009 at 9:27am

I am so glad to have found a place where people understand the profound grief that I feel. Katherine - your post about your daughter really touched me. In August my father bought a 4 wheeler. The afternoon after he bought it he tried it out and went for a ride down the street from our house. For some reason he went in a ditch and was thrown over the handlebars of the ATV. The handlebar broke his leg and severed his femoral artery. He bled to death in about 8 minutes. My mother, myself and my son all happened to be driving home in separate cars when we came upon the ambulances and fire trucks. He died only about a hundred feet from our driveway. In some ways I wish we had gotten there before he died and in some ways I'm glad we didn't get there until after. He was gone about 10 minutes by the time we happened upon the accident. Every day in order to leave our house we have to drive past the spot where he died. My 8 year old often talks about the day grampa died. What can I do but encourage him to talk and ask question. It all feels so wrong and I feel so helpless. But as I started my post, it does help some to hear from others who are experiencing these crushing feelings......

Comment by donna henderson on October 23, 2009 at 4:35am

katherine i am so sorry about your daughter how can a company be allowed to operate something like this without any proper training? Have you looked into a legal advice. how old was she what was her name. my condolences to you i know that it doesnt seem like it will get better but there is light at the end of the tunnel i too am going through the same thing my cousin killed himself, and right now i am on auto pilot i just keep going because it is the only thing i know how to do, my life is so dark right now i sleep all day sometimes i dont sleep, sometimes i eat sometimes i dont eat. the hardest part was having to call my brother and to have to tell him that doug had killed himself. btw doug was my cousin, 24 yrs old, and now he is dead. all i can say is wtf, and im pissed off. anyhoo got to try to get to sleep.

Comment by Katherine Ellis on October 23, 2009 at 3:21am

We had to stand there and watch while they worked on our daughter. we were white water rafting, she went down a small fall and fell out. She pushed her foot down to kick back up and it was stuck in some rocks. The company had nothing set up or trained in case of an accident. So I watched our daughter die. This has changed me. Part of my heart will always be done. I don't laugh anymore or feel joy. Life is darker, depressing. I know all of you will understand. I feel like crying but the tears are all dried up. i know i will see her again. but that is such a long time to wait. I miss her joy, laughter and fun. she was my best friend.

Comment by Benny Shipton on October 21, 2009 at 4:53pm

my dad died suddenly from a heart attack, aged 50, he was watching the film alexander before i went to bed and we had a conversation about why they had irish accents in the film, then i said goodnight and 15 minutes later i heard something crash into my bedroom door and that was it.

Comment by donna henderson on October 18, 2009 at 12:19am

i was visiting my dad and its been five years gone now still miss him, but more so i am grieving the loss of my cousin doug.

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on October 17, 2009 at 7:46pm

Theresa I am sorry that your husband died so suddenly and oh so young! Yes it will get easier but life will never be the same for either one of you. How do you help a child grieving I do not know. People seem to stop talking about the loved one who died, do not do this. Cherish the wonderful memories atleast that is what I try to do.

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on October 17, 2009 at 6:52pm

Donna my heart goes out to you and the loss of your dad. Did you live with him or just visit him and found him? I lived with my mom & took care of her for 3.5 years. We were so close. I miss her so much!!!

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