I Miss My Parent(s)

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Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on November 4, 2009 at 8:58pm

I am having a hard time showing up for life. I just have no desire to do anything and it takes so... much effort. How do I go on? How do I find a reason to be happy?

Comment by Diana on October 3, 2009 at 8:48am

Yes Julie, its hard to do things. At times I just want to cover up and stay in bed. When I go to functions I see others happy and enjoying and I want to cry. I am not in their place. But I do go , Putting one foot in front of the other. Last weekend I just screamed, hoping to release all the pain. I have been told I will do that again.
i worry about so many things, and my husband is not here to say we will be ok. And Mom and Dad are gone as well. And then I cry.
Others are not the same, these three people were my safe place.
I have to create that for myself now.
I work really hard at Putting my Trust in God. Praying for His direction.
I am responsible for the effort and not the outcome.
i use lots of little saying like that during the day and I listened to a lot of Christian music. Whatever works and helps me feel better and puts me in a better place.
Be friends with your ex. Sounds like a safe place for you now.
WE all do things we regret in life. Forgive yourself. God has a plan for you.
God Bless

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on October 2, 2009 at 9:56pm

I am so sorry I feel very much the same way, when good things or bad I think to call my mom and remember she is gone from this life. My daddy died in 2005 and I still want to email him. You lost your husband too, so tragic! My heart goes out to you.

Personally I have no family left, not really my daddy had a second family and we are not that close and I am still friends with my ex but divorcing him was the worst decision I made. I can not forgive myself for that!

My mom was always there to listen to me, dry my tears, hug me. I feel your pain and wonder is it hard to do things, I just don't feel like doing anything? No joy!

Comment by Diana on October 2, 2009 at 6:14pm

I TOO LOST BOTH OF MY PARENTS IN 6 MONTHS TIME AND THEN 1 YEAR LATER MY HUSBAND. WHEN I WAS GRIEVING HIM AND FEELING SO DOWN. I THOUGHT, I NEED TO TALK TO MOM AND DAD AND THEN REALIZED THEY ARE GONE TOO. NO ONE TO SHARE GOOD OR BAD TIMES. MOM AND DAD AND RICK MY HUSBAND WERE MY STRENGTH WHEN I WAS WEAK. NOW I JUST CRY A LOT. PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME.
ITS ALL SO HARD. THIS IS ONE TIME PICKING MYSELF UP AND DUSTING MYSELF OFF ISNT WORKING. YES AS WITH ALL OF YOU MY WHOLE WORLD IS GONE OR CHANGED DRAMATICALLY. NO IDEA WHAT THE FUTURE WILL BRING. TRYING SO HARD TO PUT MY FAITH IN GOD.

Comment by Katie Grace on October 2, 2009 at 5:11pm

I definately identify with you cause a lot of fears have come up for me after my mother died. I think that its natural to have a fear of your own mortality, especially after a loss, and have a deep sense of uncertainty about life...Its hard to think that we can lose the ones we love most so quickly. I also can identify with the fluxuating between numbness and heaviness. Its like the world outside doesn't seem familiar and the world inside of yourself doesn't either...hope the fears you are experiencing lessen and the pain gets easier for you to manage!

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on September 4, 2009 at 8:46pm

Fear I have been having ever night for the last 5 days or so, the numbness is fading slowly. At times I feel numb and other times I have such huge heaviness and pain in my heart. I am not even sure what I am afraid of. It scares me that someone I love could just die and I would not know it. I usually can sense things and changes and this blind sided me!

Comment by Carrie A Williams on September 4, 2009 at 2:12pm

You are where I was a while back and, now, the grief has hit me with full force. It takes a while to even wrap your mind around what has happened and I did not really expect the grief to hit me like this a couple months later but it did. I did make an appointment this week to talk to a grief counselor next Tuesday and I am hoping that maybe they can guide me somewhat in dealing with this pain and fear. Some days I feel like I am in constant fear and I cannot even put my finger on what the fear is???

Comment by Julie Marie Weiss on September 3, 2009 at 8:53pm

Carrie I feel alone, numb and have made many changes since my mom died. To me it is not real. I look at her picture, the flowers,etc. and nothing gets through and when i watch tv and its something that people normally would react to I feel nothing! I feel like i am cold hearted by I know Its the grief and it will hit me.

Comment by Carrie A Williams on September 3, 2009 at 12:34pm

I so understand Tiffany!

I feel so alone. I feel empty. I cannot relate to anything or anybody right now. I am consumed with grief and pain everyday, every moment.

Comment by Tiffany Jacobsen on September 2, 2009 at 11:30pm

Im also all alone now as well...im not sure where to turn....i think i am just realizing the reality of it all right now...ive kept myself away from the real world...ive been on an emotional rollercoaster ride and feel like im going crazy.....alone..confused..angry...etc...I dont know which way to turn..

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